Why Is Being A Parent So Terrifying?

Why Is Being A Parent So Terrifying?

I remember sitting in the emergency room. My stomach knotting with anticipation. I had a pretty good idea what I was bound to learn that night, but there was always a chance it could go another way. Looking back, I don’t think I was nervous about being told I was pregnant. I think I was scared they were going to tell me I was wrong.

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The Bittersweet Taste of Christmas

The Bittersweet Taste of Christmas

Decembers infused with holiday magic, but it can be hard, especially as a parent, to remember to enjoy all of the small cherishable moments. Sure, there are Christmas lights and garland sprinkled with berries everywhere you look, but you don’t have to look far to find a headache or two either!

I don’t mean to sound like a twenty first century grinch here, but seriously! We sit down as a family to watch a Christmas classic or two and they have been chopped all to hell to make “more” room for commercials, targeted at the children watching them. “Buy this eighty million dollar toy, if Santa loves you he will bring it!”

The elf on a shelf, what a clever idea! F’you inventer of elf on a shelf ….. F you! While you’re sitting back making millions on a sock puppet, I am tasked with the chore of thinking up new and exciting ways the little shit can ruin my house! While you are rolling in your gold coins laughing maniacally like Scrooge Mc Duck, I am forking over twenty dollars for a stupid elf outfit ….. did I say F you yet?

So I decided to do some good old fashion baking with my kids this year. They’re old enough this year, right? WRONG! Flour, frosting, chaos! Quite honestly, it was the most fun I’ve had all winter ….. !

Maybe I’m old fashion, but I remember Christmas being a much simpler time. Stores didn’t skip Halloween and Thanksgiving in order to get a jump on Christmas! You celebrated each one individually. Trees and decorations generally went up after Thanksgiving, and instead of being bombarded with ads and commercials pushing super expensive electronic devices, you had the Toys’R’Us catalog!

I’m here to remind you fellow parents that you’re not alone! We all feel the heat closing in on us! Wrappings not done, the kids don’t have an equal amount of gifts, you need to bake cookies for Santa, still need to pick up something for aunt Sue, and god forbid you forget the batteries!

I am here to tell you to slow down! Grab your kids, sit them down, and make them watch Charlie Brown with you, the entire thing, not the edited for commercial version! String popcorn, and sing carols, and be reminded of a simpler time. Take a moment to enjoy this holiday, and then get rested up for the after Christmas Sales!

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go destroy my kitchen with the elf … maybe next year they’ll invent one that cleans up after itself …..

I can’t believe it’s almost 2018!

I can’t believe it’s almost 2018!

Seriously, where did this year go? Now I know what sleeping beauty felt like because I feel like I must have slept through a few months! Well, minus the evil witch, handsome prince …. and kisses!

There was so much stuff I planned to do this year, but none of it got done! I made new year resolutions, the normal stuff like losing weight, and set goals, and none of them got done! I’m not going back to school (one of my goals), I’m still eating Oreos on the reg, and please don’t get me started about the White Chocolate Raspberry pancakes we have at work!

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Truth Time: Everyone Needs to go to Bed or Mommys Gunna Lose Her Shit

Truth Time: Everyone Needs to go to Bed or Mommys Gunna Lose Her Shit

Today has been the perfect storm on my usually calm nerves. I’m pretty easy-going and it takes a lot to try my patience, but today was hand delivered from hell by the devil himself okay!

I fell asleep on the couch last night while I was snuggling with my BabyBug, and spent the better part of the night twisted about in the free space around her. Hello Thirty …. I am getting old and I know “thirty is not old” but it sure feels old!

The rest of the day was spent fighting one battle after another and all with a stiff neck, aching joints and a throbbing headache!

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Texting Suicide Case: When Words are Weapons

Texting Suicide Case: When Words are Weapons

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Michelle Carters Actual Real Text Messages To Conrad Roys Phone

On July 13, 2014, Conrad Roy committed suicide. The fact that he killed himself, although tragic, was not what made this case unique. Suicide is thought to be the 10th leading cause of death among Americans, with someone committing suicide once every twelve minutes. What made this case stand out and grab national attention was his long-distance girlfriends, 18 year old Michelle Carter, involvement. How could someone Conrad had only met a couple of times be held responsible for his suicide? The answer to that question would soon be found in Conrad Roy’s cellphone.

In the days that followed Conrad Roy’s suicide, Michelle Carter spent a great deal of time playing the grieving girlfriend. She contacted Conrad’s mother and sister, she posted on social media about her boyfriends death and organized a charity baseball game in her home town for Conrad. Everyone felt sorry for the young grieving girlfriend but that would quickly change.

Although it was a suicide, the police still had to do an investigation to make sure everything fell into place. What they found on his mobile phone shocked his family and friends. When they pulled phone records from the past conversations between the two, they found thousands of correspondence, and almost all of it depicted Michelle as the ringleader of her boyfriends suicide. Why? Read more

Things You Never Said Untill You Had Kids

Things You Never Said Untill You Had Kids

My fellow parents, you know exactly what I’m talking about! Your Mom always seemed to know how to insert an embarrassing quote or saying into every conversation and you thought “Boy, I’ll never do that!”

Wrong wrong ding dong!

(That’s number one btw!)

So I thought it would be fun to take a minute and create a list of the weirdest things never thought I would say …. ya’ll ready?

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This Chubby Mummas Struggle With Having a Young Cute Male Doctor

This Chubby Mummas Struggle With Having a Young Cute Male Doctor

1506708015273It’s embarrassing to admit, but I’ve really neglected my health over the course of my life. My children go to each and everyone of their schedualed visits and are healthy little Bugs, but I have never put much effort into my own health.

When I was younger it stemmed from a lack of health insurance and money! I couldn’t afford to sit in a Doctors office and be told to drink pleanty of fluids and rest for $200 dollars! So I put on my big girl pants and sucked through it …

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Daddy Ticks and That’s Okay

Daddy Ticks and That’s Okay

Man-Child has a condition called Tourette’s. He doesn’t scream out in appropriate things like most people think …. THANK GOD! I have worked with people who do have that form of Tourette’s and I can honestly say that’s not something I would wish on my worst enemy! It’s a very embarrassing condition because you’re aware of what your doing but cannot stop it.

His form of Tourette’s is different. His ticks are more physical in nature and present themselves in the form of involuntary head and shoulder movements. He also clears his throat constantly and coughs. Sometimes it is very irritating when you talk to him because it takes him much longer to say something. His ideas get jumbled and come out in bouncy sentences because he gets nervous. The more aware he becomes of his ticks the worse they get.

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Awesome Group Halloween Costume Ideas for the Whole Family

Awesome Group Halloween Costume Ideas for the Whole Family

Oh yes friends … Halloween is rapidly approaching and this Mumma is pumped! I adore Halloween! In fact, I would say it ALMOST trumps Christmas …. Almost! I love the colors of Halloween decorations, I love haunted houses, I love chilly nights filled with spooky surprises …. and I absolutely love seeing all of the different costumes roaming the streets on Halloween night!

My children have already decided what they want to be …. or I have decided for them …. I honestly couldn’t tell you which one anymore! My Step-Mumma even got in on the Halloween action and bought them some costumes … I am so excited to see them!

Honestly, picture a grown ass woman squealing with delight as she passes a super cute costume on an adorable child! That’s me! Picture a should-be-more mature Mumma, sipping on a pumpkin coffee, in full costume and totally asking for candy with my kids! Oh yeah baby …. that’s me!

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Who Do You Think You Are: Growing Up On Me!

Who Do You Think You Are: Growing Up On Me!

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Oh! Someone made Muma angry!

See that Mumma bird up there? I imagine she is mad because one of her buttheads mentioned leaving the nest. She came home, overheard them talking about their plans to leave her and went crazy on them! I felt your pain Mumma!

Mumma – That’s it! I do and do for you little shits and this is the thanks I get! Instead of cleaning your nest room, you were making plans to leave? You did it now, I’m so not puking food into your mouths tonight! Now pluck your brothers feathers and get to bed!

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