The Bittersweet Taste of Christmas

The Bittersweet Taste of Christmas

Decembers infused with holiday magic, but it can be hard, especially as a parent, to remember to enjoy all of the small cherishable moments. Sure, there are Christmas lights and garland sprinkled with berries everywhere you look, but you don’t have to look far to find a headache or two either!

I don’t mean to sound like a twenty first century grinch here, but seriously! We sit down as a family to watch a Christmas classic or two and they have been chopped all to hell to make “more” room for commercials, targeted at the children watching them. “Buy this eighty million dollar toy, if Santa loves you he will bring it!”

The elf on a shelf, what a clever idea! F’you inventer of elf on a shelf ….. F you! While you’re sitting back making millions on a sock puppet, I am tasked with the chore of thinking up new and exciting ways the little shit can ruin my house! While you are rolling in your gold coins laughing maniacally like Scrooge Mc Duck, I am forking over twenty dollars for a stupid elf outfit ….. did I say F you yet?

So I decided to do some good old fashion baking with my kids this year. They’re old enough this year, right? WRONG! Flour, frosting, chaos! Quite honestly, it was the most fun I’ve had all winter ….. !

Maybe I’m old fashion, but I remember Christmas being a much simpler time. Stores didn’t skip Halloween and Thanksgiving in order to get a jump on Christmas! You celebrated each one individually. Trees and decorations generally went up after Thanksgiving, and instead of being bombarded with ads and commercials pushing super expensive electronic devices, you had the Toys’R’Us catalog!

I’m here to remind you fellow parents that you’re not alone! We all feel the heat closing in on us! Wrappings not done, the kids don’t have an equal amount of gifts, you need to bake cookies for Santa, still need to pick up something for aunt Sue, and god forbid you forget the batteries!

I am here to tell you to slow down! Grab your kids, sit them down, and make them watch Charlie Brown with you, the entire thing, not the edited for commercial version! String popcorn, and sing carols, and be reminded of a simpler time. Take a moment to enjoy this holiday, and then get rested up for the after Christmas Sales!

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go destroy my kitchen with the elf … maybe next year they’ll invent one that cleans up after itself …..

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I can’t believe it’s almost 2018!

I can’t believe it’s almost 2018!

Seriously, where did this year go? Now I know what sleeping beauty felt like because I feel like I must have slept through a few months! Well, minus the evil witch, handsome prince …. and kisses!

There was so much stuff I planned to do this year, but none of it got done! I made new year resolutions, the normal stuff like losing weight, and set goals, and none of them got done! I’m not going back to school (one of my goals), I’m still eating Oreos on the reg, and please don’t get me started about the White Chocolate Raspberry pancakes we have at work!

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Mommy Moments: When You Feel so Mad That You Want to Roar

Mommy Moments: When You Feel so Mad That You Want to Roar

Fellow parents, I’ve hit a point in my parenting where I am now relying on children’s cartoons to get me through my emotional fits, has that happened to anyone else?

There is this little goody two-shoes tiger, you all probably know him from his debut on Mister Rogers Neighborhood. He was the tiger that lived in the clock, the little shy one? Remember? Meow …. I run at the sight of my own shadow …. Meow?

Well anyways ….. even if you don’t remember that’s okay because he is not the same anymore! Now he is an emotional toddler learning life Lessons and teaching them to other young’ins through songs!

Oh the songs …..

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Who Do You Think You Are: Growing Up On Me!

Who Do You Think You Are: Growing Up On Me!

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Oh! Someone made Muma angry!

See that Mumma bird up there? I imagine she is mad because one of her buttheads mentioned leaving the nest. She came home, overheard them talking about their plans to leave her and went crazy on them! I felt your pain Mumma!

Mumma – That’s it! I do and do for you little shits and this is the thanks I get! Instead of cleaning your nest room, you were making plans to leave? You did it now, I’m so not puking food into your mouths tonight! Now pluck your brothers feathers and get to bed!

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