The Bittersweet Taste of Christmas

The Bittersweet Taste of Christmas

Decembers infused with holiday magic, but it can be hard, especially as a parent, to remember to enjoy all of the small cherishable moments. Sure, there are Christmas lights and garland sprinkled with berries everywhere you look, but you don’t have to look far to find a headache or two either!

I don’t mean to sound like a twenty first century grinch here, but seriously! We sit down as a family to watch a Christmas classic or two and they have been chopped all to hell to make “more” room for commercials, targeted at the children watching them. “Buy this eighty million dollar toy, if Santa loves you he will bring it!”

The elf on a shelf, what a clever idea! F’you inventer of elf on a shelf ….. F you! While you’re sitting back making millions on a sock puppet, I am tasked with the chore of thinking up new and exciting ways the little shit can ruin my house! While you are rolling in your gold coins laughing maniacally like Scrooge Mc Duck, I am forking over twenty dollars for a stupid elf outfit ….. did I say F you yet?

So I decided to do some good old fashion baking with my kids this year. They’re old enough this year, right? WRONG! Flour, frosting, chaos! Quite honestly, it was the most fun I’ve had all winter ….. !

Maybe I’m old fashion, but I remember Christmas being a much simpler time. Stores didn’t skip Halloween and Thanksgiving in order to get a jump on Christmas! You celebrated each one individually. Trees and decorations generally went up after Thanksgiving, and instead of being bombarded with ads and commercials pushing super expensive electronic devices, you had the Toys’R’Us catalog!

I’m here to remind you fellow parents that you’re not alone! We all feel the heat closing in on us! Wrappings not done, the kids don’t have an equal amount of gifts, you need to bake cookies for Santa, still need to pick up something for aunt Sue, and god forbid you forget the batteries!

I am here to tell you to slow down! Grab your kids, sit them down, and make them watch Charlie Brown with you, the entire thing, not the edited for commercial version! String popcorn, and sing carols, and be reminded of a simpler time. Take a moment to enjoy this holiday, and then get rested up for the after Christmas Sales!

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go destroy my kitchen with the elf … maybe next year they’ll invent one that cleans up after itself …..

My Daughter The Doctor

My Daughter The Doctor

Are you tired of sitting in waiting rooms only to be seen for five minutes by an uninterested Doctor? Tired of talking to a Doctors back while they are looking at a computer screen the entire time? Do you want a Doctor who CARES?

Well then you need to come check out the newest medical office to hit the scene, Kayleigh’s Klinic!

This amazing klinic is staffed with caring professionals (my daughter and I) who want to take care of all your medical needs! Our office is open on weekends as well, with a second Doctor who will take your head right off!

We have served tens of patients already to date, and we’ve even had ourselfs a celebrity patient or two (Thanks Barbie) but I’m just name dropping now!

Our revolutionary care promises you will be well taken care of here with us. Some amazing care you can expect from our Doctors includes:

  • Having a thermometer stuck in your eye if you don’t open your mouth!
  • Don’t like shots …. no one cares!
  • If you cry or complain you will be given a bonk on the noggin and a binky!
  • Ever wondered if you bounce? You’ll know when you leave here, if you don’t!
  • The doctors will work feverishly to find out what ails you, they may even get into heated discussions about it and storm out of the room, but that’s just their genius at work!
  • Gone are the ways of the outdated reflex testing, here we hit one another with various parts of your body, let’s see if you flinch!
  • Do you like a good cuddle? Your going to get one!
  • We don’t believe in band-aids … Band-aids are for wimps! (Plus our janitor Man-Child uses them all, but never has any boo-boos … huh?)
  • You want a sticker? Oh we got stickers … stickers on my floor … stickers on the walls …. please take a sticker, TAKE ALL OF THE STICKERS!
  • Your privacy is our first priority …. but you will be stripped off all your clothing and left laying somewhere for days, we won’t have a clue where your clothing is, it just seems to disappear!
  • Apparently we don’t have any medicine here … the DOCTORS like to drink it all before work!

That is just a handful of the amazing things you can expect from us here at Kayleigh’s Klinic.

Were located just south of KitchenVille in down town LivingRoom! Just look for the haggard Mother standing in the yard crying.

Walk-ins are welcome, registrations is a breeze and checking – out, well … no-one ever checks out!

So come visit us the next time you have a medical emergency … we will kill ourselves trying not to kill you!