Since when was going to the doctors a secret cover-up for parental ability testing? I am pretty confident with my day to day Mommy abilities, at least I was until I took my daughter to her four year check-up!
It’s important to point out that we didn’t see our regular doctor (at first). A med student came in to do the initial check-up and was followed by our primary care physician, to make sure he did the job correctly! This was the next generation of Doctor coming to practice on my child and quite honestly, it scares me!
They began the examination the same way they always do, by asking her to strip down to her diaper/underwear. Normally, my only worry at this point would be if she was cold or uncomfortable but as the doctor began pointing out every single bruise and bug bite, asking Kay “where did this come from “ my comfort shifted a bit.
Now I am not abusive in any shape or form and have only ever spanked my children a handful of times. I don’t think I have ever left or caused a bruise on my kids and if I did it was unintentional (accidentally bonked Kayleigh on the noggin one day when she snuck up behind me). With this in mind …. I still became worried! I can’t tell you why, I knew I had done nothing wrong but what if she said something weird? What if they didn’t accept her answers or explanations as truth?
Once the physical exam was complete we started the oral exam! Okay, we started the questioning portion of the appointment but it might as well have been an exam because I definitely felt like I was being graded!
They started asking me all of the normal questions like can she draw a circle, can she stand on one foot and can she say her first and last name. Kayleigh responded happily to each question by proudly showing him that yes she could do it, see!
Then they started asking the lifestyle questions and that’s when I started feeling a little humbled. I’ve always thought I was doing a pretty good job as a parent! In fact, I may have even thought I was a bit ahead of the race compared to most parents in this area!
Then the doctor asked me “do you give her/does she drink milk?”
I proudly answered “Yes sir!”
He responded with “what kind of milk?”
Seriously? Well … umm *whispers* chocolate.
Oh sweet hell, call the national guard because this Mom gives her four year old chocolate milk, not white milk people, she mixes it with CHOCOLATE … can you believe that!?
I seriously got a giant lecture about how I should not give my daughter chocolate milk and if I were going to give her chocolate milk it should be skim milk! What? Listen, I grew up drinking Nestle, my parents grew up drinking Ovaltine (lol) and I’m just saying …. None of them have chocolate milk disease!
So now that I was sufficiently crushed about the chocolate milk giving I had done, he proceeded to the next question. How many servings of fruits does she get daily? Oh, I got this!
“A lot” …. That was my answer? Oh man he is going to have a field day with this!
“Well, what kind of things do you give her for fruit?” Ugh …..
“Pears, blueberries, strawberries and yogurt” It seemed like a good answer!
“Uh, yogurt is not a fruit”
“Well, its fruit in the bottom” Duh …. Haha Oh man!
So now he thinks I am a chocolate milk giving IDIOT! I still maintain that yogurt with fruit in it does count as a serving as fruit …. Damnit!
“Uh, okay …. So does she drink juice”
I didn’t answer … I was too afraid to answer!
“Does mommy give you soda?” He asked Kayleigh! Turning my daughter against me!
“Yea sometimes she does and sometimes she says no but then daddy gives it to me”
Needless to say, I failed this test but when did it turn into a test? Since when did doctors so thoroughly question what you deem appropriate for your children? She is not over weight, she is not under weight and she is perfectly healthy! She falls into the normal range on the growth charts and is right along side all of her peers intellectually (if not a bit smarter for her age lol)! So why the third degree?
My child drinks chocolate milk, we think yogurt is in the fruit group and SOMETIMES she even has a little sip of soda! Who cares? She is not being locked in a closet for hours at a time, she is not being starved or sent to bed without supper, she is not being beaten or neglected and she is absolutly not deprived of anything! I guess if the worst thing I do is give her whole milk with a bit of chocolate then she is doing alright, so back off Becky!
FYI: her primary doctor said nothing! She said everything looked great, she was growing wonderfully and to keep up the good work Mama! So is this what the new generation of Doctor is going to look like? Oh man …..