The Bittersweet Taste of Christmas

The Bittersweet Taste of Christmas

Decembers infused with holiday magic, but it can be hard, especially as a parent, to remember to enjoy all of the small cherishable moments. Sure, there are Christmas lights and garland sprinkled with berries everywhere you look, but you don’t have to look far to find a headache or two either!

I don’t mean to sound like a twenty first century grinch here, but seriously! We sit down as a family to watch a Christmas classic or two and they have been chopped all to hell to make “more” room for commercials, targeted at the children watching them. “Buy this eighty million dollar toy, if Santa loves you he will bring it!”

The elf on a shelf, what a clever idea! F’you inventer of elf on a shelf ….. F you! While you’re sitting back making millions on a sock puppet, I am tasked with the chore of thinking up new and exciting ways the little shit can ruin my house! While you are rolling in your gold coins laughing maniacally like Scrooge Mc Duck, I am forking over twenty dollars for a stupid elf outfit ….. did I say F you yet?

So I decided to do some good old fashion baking with my kids this year. They’re old enough this year, right? WRONG! Flour, frosting, chaos! Quite honestly, it was the most fun I’ve had all winter ….. !

Maybe I’m old fashion, but I remember Christmas being a much simpler time. Stores didn’t skip Halloween and Thanksgiving in order to get a jump on Christmas! You celebrated each one individually. Trees and decorations generally went up after Thanksgiving, and instead of being bombarded with ads and commercials pushing super expensive electronic devices, you had the Toys’R’Us catalog!

I’m here to remind you fellow parents that you’re not alone! We all feel the heat closing in on us! Wrappings not done, the kids don’t have an equal amount of gifts, you need to bake cookies for Santa, still need to pick up something for aunt Sue, and god forbid you forget the batteries!

I am here to tell you to slow down! Grab your kids, sit them down, and make them watch Charlie Brown with you, the entire thing, not the edited for commercial version! String popcorn, and sing carols, and be reminded of a simpler time. Take a moment to enjoy this holiday, and then get rested up for the after Christmas Sales!

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go destroy my kitchen with the elf … maybe next year they’ll invent one that cleans up after itself …..

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Going To Kick This Thing Off!

Going To Kick This Thing Off!

Alright guys …. settle down! I know it is exciting that I am finally here, ready to dedicate my time and efforts to you, in order to help you become the best Mama Bug that you can be!

So let’s get started! First I want to say that it is going to take some time and tweaking to get this looking good and working effortlessly. I will need everyone to help with this, keep the comments coming guys! Second I need to get this out there into the internet world. I hope my content and amazingly charming humor will do the work for me, but I will need a little help from that amazing share button over there! Please share, help me reach as many would be Mama Bugs as possible! Thanks Bugs!

Its going to take some time, it’s going to take some effort, and it is going to take a whole LOT of coffee, but we will get this page off the ground! Let’s become an amazing group of dedicated Mommys and shoulders to cry on during those tough toddler moments! Can’t wait to meet all the Mommas of the world! Let’s go!

Taking My Circus To The Circus

Taking My Circus To The Circus

Yeappers, the circus is back in town this weekend. Oddly enough, my daughter chose two days ago to fondly reminisce about going last year. I had thought about not going this year – I spent a freaking fortune last year – and then Kay-Kay slammed this little pile of cuteness right on my head …

“Remember when I rode the elephant last year, that was fun, but we didn’t get to ride the donkey. HEY (eyes sparkling like a Chinese cartoon) maybe we can do it this year!

Shit. Was the thought that went through my mind, quickly followed by a quick calculation of if we could afford to go THIS WEEKEND! That was of course not what I said, what I said was …

“Donkey?”

I know there’s a lot to see, and it was possible I missed something, but I am almost entirely sure I would have noticed a donkey ride!

“Yeah mom, the lumpy donkey! Dom-Dom said it had two lumps but it had three!”

Maybe I should nix the circus idea and get her a tutor ….

“You mean camel?”

I learned two things from the conversation we had that day: 1. we have GOT to start watching more National Geographic, and 2. I was going to the circus this weekend.

So we went …

I have a pretty awesome job, with a pretty awesome boss, and my plan was to get out of work, go home, feed the kids a big supper, and haul ass to the circus, but like I previously mention (I have an awesome job and boss), so we ate at my work instead. Saved me a huge headache! Appreciated! Plus it made it much more fun for the kids who did not yet know they were about to learn a lesson about the word no!

See, last year I literally spent way to much money, but most of it was unnecessarily spent. It’s 12 dollars a person, and there are four of us, so getting in costs about fifty bucks. The other hundred and fifty was spent on food, toys, drinks, and the elephant ride during intermission. Well, not this year. We were bypassing all the trinkets, and eating before we went!

That was another sneaky part of the plan, kids get to eat out, makes it more special, and softens the blow when they’re told no about other stuff. Thanks again boss!

I was amazed! Honestly! My kids did amazingly ….

They had a great time at supper, and were totally okay when we had the pre-convo about not getting extras. Grampy came by before we left and gave them money for the “donkey ride” but otherwise they never asked for anything!

I was worried they would get there and see the flashing toys then all hell would break loose, but nope! Dom got a little restless and kept mindlessly asking for things, but he was okay when reminded about the word no. Kayleigh never even asked! I did catch her staring dreamily at the toy vendors each time they walked by but god damnit that girl did not ask ONCE! I could have cried I was so proud.

You would have to know my daughter to understand why I feel this way. I have spoiled my kids to a certain extent, and because of that she typically gets her way. Recently though, we have started working on the word no, but that went over like a fart in church. She whines, she cries, she threatens to pop my head off in the middle of Wal-Mart (yes that happened) and it’s a big mess. That girl sat there wanting something, but understanding beyond her years that Mommy couldn’t get it today, and that was heartbreaking as a mother!

All in all, it was an awesome night. Prior years left me with a board child trying to climb the seats, scrape gum off the floor, and see how close she could get her foot to strangers heads before they noticed, but this year she sat there and watched everything!

The only downside is that now she wants to be an acrobat …. I kinda hope I can talk her into something a little more safe. Maybe dog training ….

 

Ps. No lumpy donkey rides this year …. Boo …. but they loved the pony rides! For 10 bucks a pop I was sincerely hoping the fracking things would grow a horn and start flying in a circle but …. no such luck!

Always next year because two things are certain in life ….. Death and clowns robbing you blind once a year!

Let me tell you about Easter …

Let me tell you about Easter …

We don’t go to church. Not because I don’t believe in a higher power then myself, but because I don’t know what I believe. I’ve had to many bad experiences with churches who beg for money the entire time. So, we don’t go to church.

Although, as a side note, I have thought about getting my daughter into Sunday school because I think she should be educated enough about religion to make a desicion on her own. So, we might someday go to church, but we don’t right now ….

Anyways, my point? Oh yeah!

So I generally work on Easter morning. This year was no different, and I had to work at eight in the morning. Which I don’t mind because I wouldn’t forego a Sunday morning shift anyways!

I cannot buy anything ahead of time because we live in a small apartment with zero storage space. Anything I buy gets stumbled on or found somehow so I usually wait until the last minute. I wanted to do something a little different this year. Instead of a basket of candy I thought it would be a good idea to get stuff they could play with this spring. I spent some time browsing through neat Easter basket theme ideas (even wrote a post on it over at MommyDaddyKids.com , and found some neat ideas. The umbrella idea fascinated me so I decided that was the one I wanted to try.

I am my mothers daughter, and I procrastinate like I’m heading towards the electric chair instead of buying Easter gifts, so staying true to my roots I didn’t get any shopping done until Saturday. As in the day before Easter! As in everything has been picked over and only the over priced shit is left!

Do you have any earthly idea how much SHIT you need to fill an umbrella? Like, seriously? I feel like people should warn you when they post their cute little crafty pictures, of their perfect umbrella baskets, that your going to be spending at least fifty bucks an umbrella. Unless you’re me, and you wait until the last minute, then you’re looking at a couple hundred easy!

*Face Palm*

Take a moment to really feel the face palm …. and moving on!

So I told my kids that we needed to get to bed super early so the bunny would come, which they surprisingly agreed to easily enough.  Unfortunetly, Mamma fell asleep too!

I’ll take my mother of the year award in any color ….

I woke up at about 5 am, stretched a little, and it hit me like a ton of bricks …. The Bunny Never Came! Scenes of my children waking up flashed through my mind, devastated faces, why mommy? Why did he skip us?

I kicked my boyfriend as hard as I could, because hell, might as well get some kind of enjoyment out of this, and we sprung into action.

Easter Bunnies on Crack!

Shit, I should make a YouTube channel!

I filled eggs as fast as he could hide them. I tried the umbrella idea but really it turned into an umbrella/wagon/last years buckets idea. I didn’t get the stupid grass (I hate the shit anyways!) so we used pipe cleaners as grass. All in all, it came together.

When my kids woke up the Easter bunny had done his job and nobody was the wiser as to how close Easter devastation had been!

My kids didn’t really understand the pipe cleaners though …..


 

We spent the rest of the day (after I got out of work) at my moms house eating ham and playing with the new spring toys.

Then Man-Child came running past us “Your going to be mad”

Great!

He locked the keys in the car, again, like the 80th time this year! Luckily, he left them on the seat, so my sisters boyfriend fished them out in classic claw machine style. That was nerve wrecking!

I dream of people who spent the day getting on their Sunday best, sleeping in to be woken up by their excited children, having dinner with no emergencies, and you know what? I’m so glad I’m not one of those people!

This is what make memories!

My family might not be perfect but God Damn I wouldn’t have it any other way!

 

 

 

Childhood Memories of Christmas Past

Childhood Memories of Christmas Past

What do you actually remember from childhood? Like, what do you really remember about Christmas?  Do you actually remember what was in each and every neatly wrapped box, every single year, since you were a kid? Remember every single present, and everyone who gave you each present? I sure don’t …..

Wanna know what I do remember?

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I can’t believe it’s almost 2018!

I can’t believe it’s almost 2018!

Seriously, where did this year go? Now I know what sleeping beauty felt like because I feel like I must have slept through a few months! Well, minus the evil witch, handsome prince …. and kisses!

There was so much stuff I planned to do this year, but none of it got done! I made new year resolutions, the normal stuff like losing weight, and set goals, and none of them got done! I’m not going back to school (one of my goals), I’m still eating Oreos on the reg, and please don’t get me started about the White Chocolate Raspberry pancakes we have at work!

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Play-Dating Other Moms? What’s Your Advice…?

Play-Dating Other Moms? What’s Your Advice…?

Oh boy, my little Kayleigh-Bug was on screech today!

I’m pretty sure she woke up this morning and her first thought of the day was “how can I annoy thee, let me count the ways.” Then she probably cackled. She might have even stroked a furless cat while her pinky was held proudly in the air. I’m serious … Nothing would have surprised me today!

So I decided to do what any amazing, and loving, Mother would do ….. We went to McDonalds so she could wear her damn self out is what we did!

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You Don’t Believe in Fate? Then Explain This …

You Don’t Believe in Fate? Then Explain This …

Today made me think, everyday makes me think, but today really expanded my mind. I have always questioned fate and those who claim it holds power over each and everyone of us. How can you explain fate? You’re telling me that somewhere in this giant universe someone is keeping a record of everyone’s future? That some higher power commands your attention and directs you to be in the right place at the right time? Honestly, that is a massive theory. Then today happens … and I cannot help but wonder….. is fate a real thing?

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Why Does My Child Lie: 3 Reasons Why it is Our Fault Kids Lie

Why Does My Child Lie: 3 Reasons Why it is Our Fault Kids Lie

My daughter is four years old, and we have always been able to count on that girl to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. My (step) son just turned five, and he has always lied a bit, but recently it’s feels like he is trying to become the next Stephen King with his stories!

I think I’ve always held a high standard for honesty in our home because I know how greatly morals are valued in our world today. I don’t want my children to become those kids that everyone hates to see walking through a door, and you know exactly what I’m talking about!

You can implement punishment when a child lies, but I feel like that will only make them try harder to tell a better lie next time. You can explain why lying is bad, but do they really care at this age? So, what can you do?

I have racked my brain for the answer to this question, and I think I have found an answer that is working well, in my house at least! You cannot stop a child from lying until you understand why they’re doing it, and once you understand why you can create a game-plan that custom fits each child’s individual need.

So I started watching, and waiting, and watching, and it didn’t take long before a lie flew out of their mouths. The more I really studied my children’s dishonest behavior, the more I understood something that I never expected …….

It is all our fault that our children lie!

One hundred and fifty percent our fault, but it’s not because we intentionally told them to become a liey lie-face. I know most of you are sitting here going “nuh-uh it ain’t my fault”, but it actually really is!

See children are born with a clean slate; they are the most innocent creature that exists, until we corrupt them! We don’t mean to though. In fact, most of us kill ourselves trying to keep them from becoming tarnished by life. While we are trying to shelter them from the big-bads of the world we’re unknowingly becoming the problem.

Let me explain this a bit further …. let’s explore why kids lie when they are young.

They Tell Stories

Most of us start reading to our children before their even capable of communication. Some people even read to their child while they are still in the womb (Guilty!). We do it to help our children learn how to form words into coherent sentences, we do it to expose them to different things, and we do it to bond with our child. What we don’t realize is this: we are teaching them how to tell people something that is not true!

One of my daughters favorite books is Goldilocks and The Three Bears. She has started asking me about bears coming and sleeping in her bed. She has also asked about bears living in the woods and if they would come say “Hi”, so I had to tell her that bears actually don’t invite little girls into their home for porridge and a chat!

You could instantly see her wheels turning while she thought back to every book she had ever thought, or imagined, was real. All of a sudden she understood that people tell these colorfully illustrated lies for entertainment, so why couldn’t she?

I would never suggest that a parent stop reading to their child, nor would I say that you should squash on their imagination. However, it is interesting to understand how books could lead a child to think lying was acceptable in some forms.

They Use it to Get What They Want

“Can I have another cookie Daddy?”

“What did your mom say?”

Oh man, what a conundrum! I know Mom said no more cookies when I asked, but I sure do want one more, what do I do? If I tell him she said yes I will get a cookie, but if I tell him the truth I won’t get one. Children find themselves in situations like these all too often. Even as an adult, I would probably lie to get the damn cookie!

When a young child is faced with a choice such as this: lie and get what you want, tell the truth and get nothing, they are probably going to lie. They don’t fully comprehend morals and guilt yet, they are impulsive creatures, and when they want something they get tunnel vision. You really cannot blame a child for this, it’s not their fault.

We need to become more aware of our actions and what choices we put onto our young children’s shoulders. Should he ask what I said, or should he get up and ask me himself? Should I have anticipated her next move and went to inform him of my decision before she had a chance to ask, yes I should.

Being more aware and conscious of this could help teach your children not to lie because you are not putting them in a situation that requires lying.

They Lie to Stay Out of Trouble

I know, that sounds like an oxymoron right? As silly as it sounds, it is absolute truth! This is the biggest reason my children lie to me, because they think they are going to be in trouble unless they lie. I know that lying is going to create bigger problems in the long run, but I am an adult who can process the concept of consequences.

*Child breaks window*

“Did you break the window?”

“No, the cat did!”

It actually broke my heart when I realized how common this was in our home. Do my children really think I am so unreasonable that instead of admitting to an accident they would lie? Have I made them feel like they cannot tell me the truth and be heard when they explain why?

Needless to say, we had a long conversation as a family about lying and why it was not okay. We also talked about why it was okay to tell the truth, even if you believe you will be in trouble, because you are going to be in far less trouble when you are honest. Since that conversation my children have felt more secure about telling the truth, and I have been a bit more aware of making them feel this way.

There are obviously other reasons why people lie, but most of them are much more complicated than children are. These are the most common reasons why children lie to their parents. I understand and accept my part in their dishonesty and since then lying has become less frequent in our home.

Pumpkin Picking With the Littles

Pumpkin Picking With the Littles

We went adventuring today after I got out of work! We found this super cool little place that was really close by; I have driven past this place a thousand times and never knew what a little hidden gem it was!

We weren’t really sure we wanted to drive a half hour away, not knowing what this place was like. We have, more than once, driven great lengths just to find ourselves in the beginning of a Horror movie! Like, back roads, married cousins, this can be scary stuff people, but we locked our doors and went!

I’m super glad we did!

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Truth Time: Everyone Needs to go to Bed or Mommys Gunna Lose Her Shit

Truth Time: Everyone Needs to go to Bed or Mommys Gunna Lose Her Shit

Today has been the perfect storm on my usually calm nerves. I’m pretty easy-going and it takes a lot to try my patience, but today was hand delivered from hell by the devil himself okay!

I fell asleep on the couch last night while I was snuggling with my BabyBug, and spent the better part of the night twisted about in the free space around her. Hello Thirty …. I am getting old and I know “thirty is not old” but it sure feels old!

The rest of the day was spent fighting one battle after another and all with a stiff neck, aching joints and a throbbing headache!

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