Going To Kick This Thing Off!

Going To Kick This Thing Off!

Alright guys …. settle down! I know it is exciting that I am finally here, ready to dedicate my time and efforts to you, in order to help you become the best Mama Bug that you can be!

So let’s get started! First I want to say that it is going to take some time and tweaking to get this looking good and working effortlessly. I will need everyone to help with this, keep the comments coming guys! Second I need to get this out there into the internet world. I hope my content and amazingly charming humor will do the work for me, but I will need a little help from that amazing share button over there! Please share, help me reach as many would be Mama Bugs as possible! Thanks Bugs!

Its going to take some time, it’s going to take some effort, and it is going to take a whole LOT of coffee, but we will get this page off the ground! Let’s become an amazing group of dedicated Mommys and shoulders to cry on during those tough toddler moments! Can’t wait to meet all the Mommas of the world! Let’s go!

My fellow parent swearers!

My fellow parent swearers!

There are a lot of things that change when a person becomes a parent. Most of them are big changes that we all know are coming beforehand: less sleep, no time for social interaction and more financial burden.

What about the small shift changes that happen without us ever noticing? Our personalities sway and twist to mold around our young offspring and we turn into parent swearers!

What is a parent swearer?

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Losing to Technology

Losing to Technology

I am not really that old (although I reached the last birthday year this year and I am a bit worried about the big 3-0 coming soon …. OMG it’s like five months away!) … yeah I totally just lost all train of thought realizing how close my birthday is!

As I was saying … I am not that old but things today are so much different then they were when I was young! Technology has advanced at an astonishing rate and there as so many things available to kids now that weren’t even a thought when I was younger.

For example: you can go online with your phone, tablet, IPod, radio, T.V and even your watch! Your freaking watch …. seriously?! I mean think about what our ancestors would say …

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Truth Time: Mommy is a Liar!

Truth Time: Mommy is a Liar!

Do you remember the old sing-song rhyme we would chant as children, to call out someone we thought was trying to pull the wool over our eyes? I think it went something like … “Liar liar pants on fire!” Well, apparently my ass has been roasting since my daughter began talking!

I’m serious …. this MummaBug is a big fat liar! What’s even worse is that my daughter has begun calling me out on it! My wake-up call came the other day during a conversation with Kay-bug in the car, that went a bit like this:

Kay – Mama can we go to the park today?

Me (suffering from a huge headache and caffeine withdrawals) – Baby I think the park is closed today!

Kay – Your just lying …. you always lie to me about it *tears welling up in her eyes*

We drove straight to the park and spent the rest of the day there!

Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my children! My Instagram feed is riddled with family photos of various things we do together. Even if I cannot afford to do anything “big” (my definition of big is anything that’s going to cost me over $20 bucks) we will go on a nature walk or scavenger hunt. However, there are some days that we just want to sit down and binge watch Orange is the new Black, am I right MummaBugs?

So why do we lie to our children?

Sometimes the answer to this question is obviously simple. We lie to preserve traditions and keep magic alive in our children’s hearts. Holidays are a big example of these types of lies, you know what I mean! Other times we use lies as a way to avoid conflict with our children. Sure … I could have told her that Mommy had a headache the size of Texas and hadn’t had enough coffee to fully function yet, if I wanted to listen to her cry and beg for the next two hours! Or I could tell her the park is closed for cleaning, all of them, every single one!

I know how terrible I sound right now, this wonder-mom has fallen from grace my friends, but I don’t do it to intentionally hurt my kids! And it’s not like I lie to them everyday, but sometimes I do skip pages in their bedtime story or tell them we’ll do it later even though I know later might be tomorrow!

When she was younger these small white lies worked perfectly, she accepted that the park was closed and was satisfied with my counter offer to go home and eat ice cream! Now that she’s getting older, forget it! That girl can sense a lie a mile away and she will tell you!

How can I justify telling my children not to lie, or that lying is wrong, when I am the biggest culprit of all? I am brutally honest with them in some aspects but forgive me if I don’t want them to know that Fattious the hamster died and didn’t actually go live with cousins in Mississippi! Maybe I shouldn’t tell white lies but I cannot help feeling awesome while watching their eyes light up with delight when they find a $5 bill rolled up neatly because the fairies bought the house they built for them!

There is a time and place for the perfectly crafted white lie, and all parents use them! I don’t care who you are or how organic the food is you feed to your children, if your a mommy you are a liar! If you try to tell me otherwise …. be prepared to be met with a snort and a little diddy … liar liar pants on fire!

Oh God …. Smell This!

Oh God …. Smell This!

Let’s take a moment to stop and ponder something that has boggled my mind since I was a young girl! Why is it that when people realize something stinks they feel an urge to share it with the class? Seriously, if I had a penny for every time I had been told “This stinks, smell this” I would be a rich woman!

It annoys me to absolutely no end but I am just as guilty as the next guy! You would think that when we reached into our fridge and pulled out something that had sat there a bit too long we would wrinkle our noses and dispose of it! That’s not what happens though is it? We have to chase down the next unsuspecting victim, throw it in front of their nose and yell “smell this!”

I know … I know …. your thinking “why the hell is this chick writing about stinky food?” Because it’s weird that’s why and it happens in my house ALL THE TIME! Man-child finds something that doesn’t smell quite right and instead of keeping it to himself …. yeah I get to be the lucky partner in smelly crime!

While we’re on the subject of Man-children and stinky things …. why do they think farts are funny? Here I am sitting on the couch quietly minding my own business and happily munching on a snack (grapes of course …. I was NOT eating cookies!) when I get a whiff of the worst smell I have ever encountered! It smelled like a skunk had meet it’s end in a dumpster on a hot sunny day okay, it was terrible!

I was disgusted, as I should be, and he thought it was the funniest thing in the entire world! The pride he felt because he had single handedly ruined my grape snack …. 🙂 …. was ridiculous and his laughter pissed me off! WHY GUYS ….. why do you think assaulting someone with your stench is funny? They do the same thing with feet, I am constantly having a foot shoved in my face because he needs reassurance that it stinks! WHY …..?

Women don’t do that …. well most don’t! We don’t forget to put on deodorant and when we realize it in the middle of a store, run over to some poor innocent victim and stick their head in our pits! If we fart, we sit their silently hoping it doesn’t stink and if it dose then it wasn’t me! We don’t poop …. I’m just saying we don’t do that!

Anyways, back to stinky food! Maybe we just need reassurance that our nose is working correctly “I think this stinks but maybe I’m wrong, I’d better ask someone else.” Or I guess it’s possible that we are pissed off at the world for allowing us to smell it in the first place and don’t want to be the only one!

I’m just sayin …. if it stinks …. throw it away! In the meantime though …. Smell this!

Fun Facts About Halloween That You Won’t Believe You Never Knew

Fun Facts About Halloween That You Won’t Believe You Never Knew

Halloween is a fan favorite when it comes to holidays. It’s celebrated in many different areas in several different ways but it is enjoyed by all who celebrate it. This may be because of the spooky undertones it encompasses or the excuse it gives people to step outside of the norm of their day-to-day lives.

Whatever the reason, it’s a very popular holiday. However, even the biggest fans of Halloween probably don’t know many of these fun facts! So let’s dive into the world of ghouls and goblins and learn some mind blowing facts about Halloween, together!

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Labels In Today’s World

Labels In Today’s World

I am a waitress and one of the hardest things about being a waitress is finding the right way to greet a table. I walked up to a table of four older woman the other day and greeted them with a big smile and a hearty “Hey Guys!” and was a bit confused when I was met with icy stares! Oh great ….

Then one of the lady’s decided she needed to explain and angrily snapped “were not guys we are ladies”!

Well, My Bad!

As taken aback as I was, and as much as I desperately wanted to say “listen, your not going to pay me enough to bitch at me so please, what do you want to drink?”, I couldn’t help but agree with her statement. They weren’t guys but surely they knew I had not intended to imply they had penises, it is just a figure of speech.

Fast forward a bit and I am walking up behind one of the tables that had just been sat in my section. A woman is sat facing me whom I could clearly see and across from her there was a young lady in a black woman’s coat with a nice short girlish haircut and long silver earrings. “I’ll be right with you ladies!” …..

Yeah, you know where this is going already right?

Imagine my horror when I walked a bit ahead of the table and realized that the ladies were actually a woman and a young man! Two things happened in that split second: I vehemently hated those old ladies who made me stray from my normal greeting and I wanted to sink into the floor!

Credit where credit is due: he was extremely easy going about the whole thing and as cold and offended as the older woman had been, this young man laughed it off like “it happens all of the time don’t worry about it”.

Personally, I would have expected a man being called a woman to have been more offended then a woman being called a “guy”. My statement to the ladies was not direct as in, I was not actually calling them men. With this young man I had literally called him a female! It made me think about our roles in society and how we use labels everyday both intentionally and unintentionally.

There are countless ways people can be labeled each day and if you tried to categorize all the humans on earth, you would never finish the job! You would have to create categories and sub categories with extensions from the sub categories. Years ago this wouldn’t have been a true statement and it was very easy to put people into one of a handful of labels. Maybe those people secretly could have fallen into a sub category of their own but they dared not be open about it then. Today that’s different, people can be whoever they want to be and they may be judged by a few but their welcomed with open arms by most.

Maybe I didn’t offend this young man because it’s possible that he does identify as a woman and I had actually said exactly what he needed to hear. The haircut and choice of clothing would have pointed in that direction. On the other hand I may have offended him deeply and hit a nerve he was already self conscious about but was too nice to say anything. Who knows! What I can say is this, years ago I wouldn’t have had to put that much thought into how I labeled another person!

You know what? I think it’s great!

I think it’s amazingly wonderful that my daughter may live in a world where she can literally be whatever she wants! Not just in a career choice way either, she can literally identify however she wants and their will be a group of understanding like-minded individuals to take her in! If she chooses not to play with Barbies or have long hair because she wants to be a “boy” then guess what, she can be a boy! I don’t have to hide it and pressure her to change her behavior out of fear about what the neighbors might think.

If she decided that she didn’t like men and wanted to date other woman, Okay! Love your life, be happy! I wouldn’t live in shame or shun my offspring because of a feeling they cannot control but years ago this may have been different! We are allowed to be more accepting of how people feel because these labels exists and people have put so much effort into showing the world “Hey, were different and guess what, that’s okay!”

I’m glad we live in a society that can realize the difference in millions of people and not judge them too harshly. I know there will always be people who judge others and those woman are a great example! It offended them greatly that I had identified them as “guys”. They were horrified that I had put that label onto them and this leads me to believe they are less accepting about the unique amount us.

Anyways …. I learned my lesson that day! Guy …. Girl ….. Cat …. doesn’t matter what you are, what the hell do you want to drink?

When Your More Blessed Then You Realize

When Your More Blessed Then You Realize

“Umm … I think I want pizza and for supper tonight Mama” that was Kay-Bugs response when I asked her what we should have for supper. I didn’t really want pizza but couldn’t think of anything else I specifically wanted more, so we called and ordered a couple pies from the local convenience store.

We had a half hour to kill before they were ready and had already gone on a nature walk, so I decided to hit the grocery store and pick up some stuff to go with supper. Chips …. check ….. soda ….. check ….. water for those of us trying to lose weight by drinking less soda …. ugh check.

While I was walking to the register I notice an older man, he was hard to miss standing there in clothing that most of us would consider rags, with long white hair and a giant white beard. He had a pull along suitcase with a cardboard sign tucked into it and was purchasing scratch tickets. I kept walking and didn’t think twice about it …..

When I walked outside I was approached by a young man asking if I had a dollar, I did and couldn’t tell him otherwise since I was holding my money in my hand, so I forked over a dollar. He then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to hang out tonight and told me his girlfriend stole his bank card because he had bought a beer ….. listen buddy you obviously bought the whole beer store!

So I was standing there with my four year old daughter trying to figure out what this guys problem was! Sure, come on over strange man and hang out with me and my child! It scares the hell out of me to think that there are girls out there that would do that! Can you imagine what Man-Child would have thought if I had come trotting back to the car with a stray? Can we keep him honey? Pleaassseee?

So I told him my boyfriend is right there in that red car and I have to go, enjoy the dollar!

Then it was time to grab our pizza! I went inside, selected a few more chocolate goodies, and walked out with my yummy food haul! Then I noticed him again, sitting on the stores picnic tables, he was scratching a ticket and from the look on his face, wasn’t very fortunate! We jumped in the car and started home ….

As we drove away I was suddenly over come with emotions and I couldn’t understand why. This man was clearly homeless and even though the suitcase could have easily led me to believe he was killing time waiting for a bus, the old torn clothing and obvious lack of hygiene told another tale. The scratch tickets warned me that he had money but maybe he was hoping for a bit more? Maybe he thought if he bought those, twenty dollars could turn into a hundred and buy him a warm bed and a shower tonight? Was it possible that he went without in hopes of having more?

Then I thought of the stupid man who asked for a dollar and a friend. This older man had asked me for nothing, even though he stared at the pizza in my hand the way I would stare at a pair of comfortable pajama pants, utter longing in his eyes! He had not approached me for anything, had just sat harmlessly on his picnic table. He had obviously been asking for help, the sign in his luggage told me that much, but he wasn’t harassing people who walked by like the other man had.

I told Man-Child to turn around.

We went back and I approached the older man who was now searching through his open suitcase. A suitcase that held very little and looked like my rag bucket at home! He put a sweatshirt on that was full of holes and stood looking around.

“Excuse me sir, I couldn’t help notice you had a suitcase and thought maybe you were waiting for a bus, could I offer you a couple pieces of pizza?” His face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Yeah, I would like some pizza sure!”

“What about soda, would you like a coke or Mountain Dew?” I had a twelve pack of each and was fully prepared to give him the whole thing!

“No that’s okay, I’ll get fat drinking those” it’s worth noting he was a round little fellow already but hey, I feel your pain brother!

“Well alright you hold right on” I grabbed him two slices of both pizzas and a bottle of my “lose weight not drinking soda” water.

When I brought back the food he looked relieved. Maybe I could have handed him money, but would he have bought food? He looked at me and our eyes met, no other words were needed, I knew what he wanted to say. He didn’t need to say thank you, I didn’t need him to. He didn’t need to fawn over me and how thoughtful I was, why embarrass him further?

The other man had responded to my kindness by asking for more, a whole lot more! Sheesh! This man responded by asking for nothing, he was grateful! I wish I could say I gave him money for a good nights sleep in a hotel room, but I can’t even afford that for myself! I wish I could have offered him more then a couple slices of pizza and a bottle of fat free water, but that’s all I had to give!

Who knows what his story is but what I do know is, it is a story that’s told way to often! I sit here with my pizza and water (ugh), watching T.V, writing this on my tablet, sitting in the living room of my apartment and I am thankful! I wonder where he is going to lay his head tonight? While I am warm in my bed snuggling with my baby, is he curled up in the woods? It breaks my heart!

The next time I wish for more, I’ll remember this man and how happy he was to just have a couple slices of pizza and a bottle of water!

A Letter To My Younger Self

A Letter To My Younger Self

I’ve seen a few people writing letters that were directed at themselves when they were younger. At first I thought “That’s stupid and pointless” but the more I thought about it I understood. It’s not that you think your letter will fall into some random universe that’s twenty years behind us, it’s an exercise of self discovery, less about who you were years ago and more about how much you have changed since then. Some of them are really cute and others are dark and depressing, let’s see what mine will look like!

Dear Younger Meagan,

First of all, don’t freak out! Yes, this letter is from the future and I am really you, don’t try to understand how this happened, it’s just a thing now! So, how are you? You started acting like a dumbass yet? I wonder how young you are supposed to be, am I writing to a teenager? A small child? If your a child then I’m sorry about the dumbass line! Let’s pretend your like twelve for the sake of confusion. Well I guess I should start by saying “Hey girl ….” to break the ice or something? (Ice breaker …. ice breaker …. Think think think) You hit puberty yet? (Oh that was stupid …. ) Okay forget the ice breaker, let’s get to the good stuff! Let’s see …. what would I tell you if I could …..

  • Things will get better, but they will get much worse first. Hold on tight and don’t let go of yourself and who you are!
  • Spend more time with Grammy because there will come a time where you have to say goodbye, and you will have a lot of regret about not spending enough time with her!
  • Don’t date stupid people! Omg … just stay away from all men until your in your 20’s …. there all problems solved!
  • Seriously though, stop trying to fix other people because you can’t. They will only drag you down in the process and then you will have to work much harder to fix yourself!
  • Stay away from drugs! I’m not just saying that to sound like an after school special, they will ruin your life and everything you wanted to do with it! Just say no …. !
  • Enjoy your friends to the fullest because after high-school you really won’t see them anymore!
  • When you meet Corey, act on it now! You will understand what I mean and trust me you two will later anyways and then it will create so many problems! Don’t let him change or let the world change him and run away from everyone together!
  • Actually, scratch that …. then Kayleigh won’t be born. Yeah … shit do I even want you to change anything?
  • Kayleigh is your daughter, yeah you have a daughter! Well …. you do if you don’t change anything anyways!
  • So yeah …. don’t change a thing! Live through the bad times and love the good times, when the time comes to change: do it!

To be honest there isn’t much I would want to change about my life. Did I do some things I wish I hadn’t, yeah! However, changing anyone of those things would put me on a different path and maybe it would be a technically “better life” but I’m pretty fond of the one I have now!

Is Two Better Than One? Or Three Better Than Two?

Is Two Better Than One? Or Three Better Than Two?

So anyone who has read my About Me Page (you can find that here) already knows that I have a daughter and a step-son. They’re less then a year apart, which has been a blessing some days and a nightmare other days! We had Dominic all summer and it was difficult at first to change our routine around to suit a second child full-time! We did it and we loved every minute of it! Now that schools started again he is back with his mom during the week and comes to our house on the weekends. This has really disrupted our little family!

We miss him! I go in to check on him in the middle of the night and have a mini panic attack when I don’t see him in bed! I include him when I’m trying to decide what to have for supper …. nope can’t have macaroni because Dominic doesn’t like the noodles! Oh yeah …. he’s not here! The Man-Child is once again outnumbered by women and misses his little man during the week, but none of us miss him as much as Kayleigh-Bug!

She is constantly finding new ways to break my heart by expressing her misery over Dominic being gone. She counts down the days until the weekend comes ….

“Mama is today the day we go get Nom-Nom” (She calls him Nom Nom … I know how stinking cute right?).

When we go to the park she plays a bit and then sits down with a big exasperated sigh….

“what’s wrong Bug?” …. “Mama, its sooo boring without Nom Nom!”

The topping on the heartbreak cake came the other night while she was laying on her little couch watching her tablet ….

“Mama I’m gunna play this song when Nom Nom comes this weekend, it’s the perfect song and I think is gunna love it” …. *Plays song* “Everything is going to be okay because we are together, Everything is okay when we are together” ….. OMG!!!!

Okay …. so clearly my child is starving for social interaction! I know she will eventually get it from children at school but that doesn’t do her any good for the second half of the day! I grew up with three sisters and myself so there was always someone to get into trouble with! I cannot imagine spending my days exploring the woods alone, not having someone to share my secret inside jokes with or playing barbies with no one to play Ken! (Okay, we fought about who was going to play ken every single time! But still …)

She is basically an only child for most of the week! She has a brother on weekends and Holidays but the rest of the week he is at his moms house doing his own things and she is here pining away for him! I’ve been watching this eat away at her for weeks and while I try my hardest to fill the void, I am not a child her age!

I don’t understand children’s humor the way she wants me too, I can’t look at her while she is bugging Daddy and think it is the best thing since sliced bread! I don’t want to poke worms with sticks and watch them squirm and riding my bike down the hill into the back fence … well …. it would probably kill me!

So, should I have another child?

Parents do that right, have children for the purpose of giving their other child a playmate? I mean, let’s be honest here, that is why I would do it! Would I love to be pregnant again? Sure, but it would make work a lot harder! Am I happy having one child of my own? Yeah, I think I am but I also want my daughter to have what I had growing up! A bond with her sisters and brother that is unbreakable by any human force! She has that to an extent with her brother but at the same time they didn’t grow up together! They live two separate lives and he is only here half of the time!

I wouldn’t mind having another child! It wouldn’t be ideal because of work and finances but shit … when is it ever ideal? If we were going to have one now would be the time to do it! I wouldn’t want to wait much longer because the longer I wait to more I would be “starting over”. I still have all of Bugs baby stuff if it was a girl and she would be close enough in age that they would be able to be close. If I wait much longer they wouldn’t be as close!

I love Dominic like my own and would jump in front of a bus without hesitation for him but the reality is that he is not my son! I cannot have him all of the time like we would love to have him and it would be good for Kayleigh to have another sibling. I’m not sure if I am ready to go through labor again …. but maybe by then they will have found a way to get the child out without pushing?